I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
