So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
