worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize