You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
