i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
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