I want to stick my p in your. b.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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