if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
