So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
