If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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