Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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