I wannas sexs uuuuu
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
