Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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