We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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