I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
