im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
