is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
