I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
