Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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