Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
