Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
