are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
