he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
