i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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