i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Randomize
