uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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