White coat. Heels.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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