Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
