I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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