Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
