happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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