the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
