It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
