Just fell off a train. Bad.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
