Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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