i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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