What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
