He is such a slut. More and more my type.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My dick has a subreddit
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
