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shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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