Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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