dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
