he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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