There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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