is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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