I feel great
I just peed on a car
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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