apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
