I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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