My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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