girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
