weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
