OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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