All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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