my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We have started to decorate penises.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's rum buckets o'clock
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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