Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
