i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
