i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
