i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
