he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Found your dick twin last night
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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