I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
