Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize