she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
