His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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